Record-Breaking Participation In Battle Bowl Leaves “Big” Impression, Starr Retains Titles Despite Obstacles

January 12, 2014
by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer/Wrestling Journalist

During “New Year’s Knockout,” the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance (KSWA) really springs into action. The Krazies are eager to see what happens when Megastars have an opportunity to set their own championship course. “Battle Bowl” has become a rallying cry for fans and Megastars alike. Newer wrestlers, veterans…and sometimes even returning friends…make an impact.

In addition to that, a new Number One Contender for the burgeoning 5-Star Championship was designated and Shane Starr faced the toughest battle of his career to protect the most important and prestigious title in the Commonwealth.

“The King” Del Douglas v. The Jester

This is a battle between former KSWA tag team champions, mentor/student and friends. The duo went their separate ways after The Jester’s FanFest match with Zach Gowen. Douglas thought that The Jester should have bested the “One Legged Wonder” but he didn’t. Now the two face each other face-to-face for the first time. Once inside the ring, The Jester gyrates for the fans, who have no idea how to respond to that. The bell rings and Douglas attacks from behind. Jester is whipped into the ropes and then dropped with a sledge shot. The Jester rallies and clobbers Douglas. A back elbow drops Douglas. Jester picks Douglas up and snap-mares him. He buries a series of knees into Douglas’ back. Then there’s a knee to the place where Douglas would have a heart. A stunner phases The Jester. Douglas stomps on Jester’s hand. Douglas regroups and kicks away at his former protégé. The King grabs The Jester in the crotch, chops him down and gets a two count. Douglas bodyslams Jesters at the Krazies shout “Millvale.” Douglas misses his fist and the Jester rallies to drop Douglas. He kicks Douglas in the mush and follows it up with a cartwheel. Jester is about to hit a piledriver when Shawn Blanchard hits the ring. A massive beat down of the Jester takes place until Bob Atlas and Bobby O rush the ring. KSWA Kommissioner Gentleman Joe Perri follows and says he orders from the Championship Committee to restart the match as a tag team contest.

Bob Atlas and The Jester v. Shawn Blanchard and Del Douglas

The Jester and Blanchard run the ropes until The Jester rolls out of the ring. Blanchard continues to trudge on until he collapses in the corner. The massive crowd is elated with the activity. After a while, Douglas and Atlas try to settle in for a test of strength. Douglas attacks Atlas and drops him and then the Jester in the corner. Blanchard chokes Atlas in the corner as Bobby O tries to get referee Shawn Patrick’s attention. Douglas gets a two-count on Atlas. Douglas buries his knees into Atlas’ mid-section. Two count from Patrick. They successfully keep Atlas in their corner. The punches to Atlas’ 3-percent body fat are relentless. Blanchard is in and suplexes Atlas a trifecta of times. Patrick slides in for a two-count. Douglas shouts that “Puniverse is dead.” Two count from Patrick by Blanchard on Atlas. Blanchard digs at Puniverse. Atlas back-body-drops Blanchard and both Megastars are down. Bobby O is on the outside, shouting encouragement to Atlas. Atlas makes it to The Jester. Jester splashes both of his opponents, but misses a second time on Blanchard. Blanchard takes that opportunity to attack Jester. All four Megastars are in the ring. Atlas hits a DDT on Douglas and tosses him into all four corners. “It’s Dream Time” Atlas shouts. Douglas is down on one knee. Blanchard connects on Atlas’ head with something other than a fist. It’s “Lights Out” for Atlas as Patrick counts three. The winners are Douglas and Blanchard.

Next up: #1 Contender for the 5-Star Championship—Kash v. J-Ru

J-Ru lives up to his nickname by instigating the crowd. They are not too pleasant to him. J-Ru shoves Kash near a corner and then preens for the gathering. J-Ru and Kash go the technical route and then J-Ru over-powers his opponent. Kash dumps J-Ru outside and then dives on him. They are both back in on the four-count. Kash lands a flip on J-Ru. J-Ru falls to the outside. Kash tries to dive on him but he’s blocked. Kash is down and J-Ru goes for a chair. That’s blocked. J-Ru overpowers Kash again and gets a two count. The two stand and trade big chops in the center of the ring. Kash drops J-Ru but J-Ru covers and hands Kash down. He goes for a second version of the Shining Starr but Kash lays him out with an elbow. Kash lands a Whisper in the Wind and gets the three count! The new Number One contender for the 5-Star Championship is Kris Kash.

Bulldozer and Mayor Mystery v. ?

This match was unusual to begin. Mayor Mystery, who carries Bobby Badfingers’ 5-Star Championship, comes to the ring with Bulldozer. Mystery announces that he has signed a contract with Bulldozer to be his manager. Bulldozer issues a challenge that’s accepted by Lord Zoltan and Justin Sane. Bulldozer locks up with Lord Zoltan. Bulldozer tosses the Legend in the corner and then hip tosses him across the ring. Zoltan gets up and goes to work on Bulldozer. Incredibly, Zoltan hip tosses Bulldozer across the ring. Once back inside, Bulldozer tries to power them both down. Party Gras powers out of it. Justin Sane drops a leg on Bulldozer but that’s just enough to anger the beast. Bulldozer bodyslams Justin in the center of the ring. He goes for a pin but Zoltan breaks it up. Bulldozer suplexes Justin and gets a two count. Bulldozer catches Justin Sane and tosses him outside the ring and into the clutches of Mayor Mystery. Zoltan chases his former manager and referee Shawn Patrick gives chase. Meanwhile, Bulldozer goes after Sane. Bulldozer gets up and takes a couple of punches to the gut. Bulldozer catches Sane and spins him across the ring. The Detroit Wrecking Machine is gonna do it again. He doesn’t and drops an elbow on him instead. Sane is down in the center of the ring. Bulldozer climbs up top. He misses a big splash. Justin crawls to his corner and tags in Zoltan. Mayor Mystery tosses his cane and Justin Sane picks it up. Zoltan gets Bulldozer in the corner. Zoltan clearly and obviously blasts Bulldozer in the head with a wrench and gets the win.

KSWA Tag Team Championship: Flash/Johnson v. VIPs

Flash and Johnson take early control of the match after the bell rings. Everhart and Cross bail to the outside. Flash and Johnson dive out onto them. Flash splashes Cross in the corner. Cross recovers and delivers a huge clothesline. Cross keeps Flash in his corner. Everhart is in and he continues the attack on Flash. Everhart has Flash in a rear chin lock. Flash battles up but Everhart gets him back down for only a one count. Cross arm bars Flash in true “Enforcer” fashion, hits a spinebuster on the South Beach Soldier. Flash falls away to avoid a couple of clotheslines, impressively kicks up, drops Cross and tags in Johnson. The crowd goes zany as Johnson spins Flash around and uses his partner as a weapon. They knock Cross out and Johnson goes for a knee-first splash on Everhart. Everhart moves and Johnson nearly goes over and out of the ring. Johnson impulsively crawls toward a corner but it’s the wrong one. Cross puts the boots to Johnson. Cross picks Johnson up and places him in the VIP corner. Johnson drops to Tree of Woe. Everhart is tagged in and he slaps Flash. He kicks Johnson after a nifty hopscotch display. The crowd boos him heartily. Everhart almost allows Johnson into his corner before kicks and punches. Cross is tagged in and he delivers some blows to Johnson. Johnson collapses in the VIP corner as Cross and Everhart continue their assault. Johnson recovers enough to toss Everhart into a corner but he is then met with a boot. Johnson regroups and suplexes Everhart off the top. Everhart gets to Cross, Johnson to Flash. Flash cleans up. There’s a return spinebuster to Cross. Flash gets to the top rope for a cannonball but misses. Cross covers Flash and gets a two count. Johnson spills Everhart over the top in impressive fashion. Cross has Flash down in a Crippler Crossface. They battle each other until Johnson kicks Cross. The pin goes and the time limit expires just before the third count. Winners and still champs: the VIPs.

Martin v. Starr for the KSWA World Championship

Shawn Blanchard is out with Lou Martin. KSWA Owner Blanchard calls for the match to be a no-disqualification, no count out. The bell ring on referee Justin Smith’s call and the match is underway. It’s a rematch for both titles. Martin drops Starr and assails him with a barrage of right hands. Martin stops long enough to blast Starr in the ribs. Blanchard uses Martin’s black baseball bat to club Starr in the ribs. Martin assails the crowd and children in particular. Starr battles back and plunks Martin into a ring post. However, Blanchard hits him again with the bat. Martin attacks Starr on the outside and then tosses him back inside. Starr nearly rolls Martin up out of nowhere. Blanchard gets a chair for Martin to use. Martin slugs Starr in the back with the chair. Martin follows up with a right hand and a pin attempt. Starr gets to the ropes. Blanchard slaps Starr but Starr battles out and splashes Martin in the corner. Starr hits a terrific drop kick on Martin and then a big leg drop. Starr picks Martin up and posts him in the corner. Starr goes for a suplex and lands it. He slowly rolls over on Martin and only gets a two count. Starr rolls to the corner as Martin gets up and methodically goes for the eyes. Martin grabs a hammer at ringside and gouges at Starr’s eyes. Out of nowhere, Starr nearly gets Martin into a Sharpshooter but Martin is able to break out. Martin tries to pin the exhausted World Champion but only gets a two count. Martin hits a leg drop as Starr is draped over the apron. Martin uses the bat on Starr’s throat. The Krazies start a “Here We Go, Shane” chant that distracts, then angers the VIP. On the outside, Martin drags Starr and chops him in the chest. Blanchard chops Starr in the chest as well. Fans shout “Garbage Pants” towards Martin. Martin gets Starr into the ropes and digs at him. Starr gets out of the way as Martin goes for a spear in the corner. Starr gets Martin in the corner for 10 punches. Starr goes to get Starr for the Shining Wizard but Martin blocks it. Martin drops Starr with an inverted DDT. Two and a half count. Side suplex. Two count. Starr bodyslams Martin and then gets him up again for a running powerslam. Two count. The Sharpshooter is nailed. Cross runs in and is quickly dispatched. Everhart rushes in and gets hit with the Shining Wizard. Blanchard grabs Starr and holds him up. Martin goes to hit Starr with the baseball bat but misses and clubs Blanchard instead. Starr gets Martin into the Sharpshooter and after a few reluctant moments, taps out. Shane Starr is your winner and still KSWA World Champion! The VIPs help each other to the back, their numbers advantage to no avail.

Battle Bowl 6:

Super Ginger versus Joey Quervo. Joey Quervo stumbles and then Super Ginger. They go for a few minutes until Shawn Blanchard is the next Megastar in. He goes low on both Megastars. Ginger pinches Blanchard’s nipple instead of going for high-impact moves. Blanchard attacks both masked Megastars. Tyler Cross is next. He goes right after Ginger as the VIPs. Cross eliminates Ginger. The VIPs attack Quervo. La Lucha is in but Joey Quervo is tossed out. Blanchard punches La Lucha in the head. La Lucha hits a double clothesline on both. Cross goes low on La Lucha. Lord Zoltan is the next one in. Blanchard goes after La Lucha. Lord Zoltan gets a familiar wrench and goes after Cross. La Lucha hits a drop kick on Cross. Jay Flash rushes in, eliminates Cross and jumps out after him. The action spills to the bar area, but La Lucha, Lord Zoltan and Shawn Blanchard are in the ring. Kris Kash is in next. Lord Zoltan, showing a mean streak, goes after Kash. La Lucha goes after Zoltan and then is met with a back elbow from Blanchard. Blanchard tosses La Lucha over and out. Bulldozer is out next. He goes after Zoltan. Blanchard continues to go after Kash. Kash is nearly dumped out but he skins the cat and flips back in. Bob Atlas is the 10th Megastar in. Atlas whips Kash into Blanchard. Blanchard goes after Atlas. The Blood Beast is in next at the 18 minute mark. He goes toe to toe with Bulldozer before Dozer pushes the big man. The two have big egos and massive power, so they go after one another. Kash has been eliminated by Blanchard. Next up is Big Mike Malachi and the KSWA Arena goes insane! Bulldozer goes right after Malachi. Next up is Nasty Nick Crane. He and Blood Beast go after Zoltan. Zoltan has been eliminated, then Blood Beast goes next. Bulldozer is out. Tommy Faime, the KSWA Hall of Famer, is next. Faime embraces the King and then hip tosses him. He then hip tosses Malachi. Then clotheslines Malachi. It’s every man for himself. Bobby O is out next and he is immediately dropped to the mat by Shawn Blanchard. Del Douglas gives Bobby O a humiliating wedgie and then Malachi makes the save. Sniper is out. Blanchard nearly tosses Douglas out and then remembers his friend. Del clings to the ropes. Jester is in next and he goes right for Douglas. He is then met with the Mercenaries. A suplex by Faime and Blanchard on Malachi bounces the ring off the ground. Blanchard is tossed out by Faime. This confounds Blanchard, who thought that Faime was ultimately working with his old VIP brethren. However, Battle Bowl is every Megastar for himself. Shane O’ Shea, for the first time since 2004, rushes the ring. Justin Sane is out next. Faime is eliminated and Shane O’Shea is not far behind. Sniper this then thrown out. It’s not a good night for the Mercenaries, as Crane soon follows. Edric Everhart is the 21st. Tony Johnson races out at the 40 minute mark. El Skeletorios is out two minutes later and is a house a fire. Nick Crane is eliminated, as is Everhart. Mayor Mystery is the 24th participant in the Battle Bowl. Mystery spends a good bit of his time jabbering on his cell phone, presumably with 5-Star Champion Bobby Badfingers, who was suspended by the Championship Committee. Once inside Mystery—who was forced to take Badfinger’s slot—is quickly given the heave. J-Ru is the next-to-last participant. He has a pretty good shot at doing well in this match, as everyone else has been in for a while. El Skeletorious, who had a somewhat good showing, is asked to take his leave while being tossed over the top rope. The last participant in is “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin. Determined, “Devastation” stomps to the ring with purpose. The Jester, Tony Johnson and Big Mike Malachi are on one side of the equation, while Del Douglas, J-Ru and Martin face off. Martin, Douglas and J-Ru take advantage of the situation and get their opponents down. They all hit Malachi with leg drops and Jester is thrown out next. Surprisingly, Lou Martin is the next one to be eliminated. Johnson goes next. Before anyone knows it, the field is down to Del Douglas, J-Ru and “Big” Mike Malachi. There’s a distinct hum in the air as the capacity crowd begins to feel that a remarkable moment is about to occur. Douglas and J-Ru battle Malachi but get caught near the ropes. The veteran, Malachi spills both Megastars over the top rope and onto the concrete floor below. As hundreds of fans spring to their feet in jubilation, “Big” Mike Malachi is announced the winner of Battle Bowl 6!

Thus ends New Year’s Knockout and Battle Bowl 6!

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