by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer
April 26, 2012
When brand new KSWA Hall of Famer Lord Zoltan had a problem with “The King” Del Douglas, The Jester, and the VIPs (particularly Shawn Blanchard and Advisor Frank Durso) last month, he had an ace up his sleeve. As one-half of the KSWA Tag Team Champions, Lord Zoltan—along with Party Gras partner Justin Sane—knew he could call on an old friend to help settle down the Royal Pains. Enter his pal Bushwacker Luke—one-half of the famed Bushwackers—who was one of the most popular tag team wrestlers of all time.
Since the revelation that Bushwacker Luke was coming back to Pittsburgh, King Douglas and the Jester have been sequestered in the 10-bedroom palatial estate high above Millvale they call home. In tag-team competition, Douglas, the Jester and Blanchard (along with Durso) will take on Party Gras and Bushwacker Luke, who also was known as one of the devious Sheepherders many moons ago. This has the making of one of the biggest six-man matches of all time.
Meanwhile, current and reigning KSWA Heavyweight Champion “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin has been stewing in his own juices in preparation for his title defense against Kris Kash. Over the past few months, someone reportedly from Kash’s camp has been making and posting videos of the VIPs. In most circles the videos are considered parody. In the VIP’s world, the videos—which show superimposed pictures of Shawn Blanchard, Lou Martin and even Frank Durso—as hip-hop and hula dancers and in a Sonny and Cher skit. The most damaging video in Martin and Blanchard’s eyes is the “Let’s Get Physical” number that showcases them frolicking about in jazzercise tights. Martin has sent cease and desist orders to Kris Kash’s sports agent and legal representation but the videos keep on coming. An incensed Martin, on an episode of Jonny Axx’s podcast, has since issued an Open Challenge to Kash for the KSWA World Title. Kash immediately accepted, even though Martin charged that he hadn’t. Now the match is set. The two have met countless times over the years but both Megastars are currently at the top of their collective careers. This will be an interesting match to say the very least. In fact, some say a Kris Kash win would not be considered an upset.
Jay Flash takes on his most challenge to date in defense of the Golden Triangle Championship in a Triple Threat Match against The Blood Beast and Mitch Napier. Flash has defended the GT belt sporadically since winning it in December but that hasn’t been his fault. Kommissioner Joe Perri has scheduled him in tag matches and other types of bouts in 2012, but now Flash wrestles against two men. Blood Beast recently showed his awesome power by chokeslaming everyone after a recent tag match. And he is pumped and ready for a shot at the Golden Triangle belt, which would be his first single’s belt. Then there’s Mitch Napier, the former KSWA World Champion who has been embroiled in a feud with his erstwhile friend The Latin Assassin. Latin was supposed to be involved in a tag team match against Napier but the New York resident has since come down with a rather serious upper respiratory ailment. (In fact, Latin is graciously accepting well wishes on his Facebook page.) Might Jay Flash’s underdog story come to an abrupt end Saturday night? Flash overcame staggering odds to beat the Windy City Brawler Bobby Badfingers for the Golden Triangle Champion but will the South Beach Soldier be able to be victorious over the Legion of the Apocalypse’s resident brute and the Megastar many believe to be the future face of the KSWA in Mitch Napier?
The KSWA Jr. Heavyweight Championship is on the line as champion Shane Starr takes on Super Ginger. This match has been profiled in depth already and both Megastars are geared up.
Bobby Badfingers has been talking a lot of smack recently about he is going to upend Jack Massacre, the 7-foot, 408-lb walking, talking mountain of a man. Badfingers, through the watchful eye of Mayor Mystery, has been taking measure shots at Massacre. Massacre continues to seek revenge for the Legion of the Apocalypse’s attack on him last year. To make matters even more interesting, Mayor Mystery has dispatched Jonny Axx on assignment for this weekend. What might that mean for the Legion and Jack Massacre’s future in the KSWA? Word is always buzzing that Mayor Mystery is looking to build what is already the largest stable in the organization’s history.
Ali Kaida has accepted a “Headbanger’s Brawl” match from challenger “Rock n’ Roll” Dave Diamond. Diamond Dave took the unorthodox measure of calling Ali Kaida out last month and took a superb beating for his effort. Interestingly, Dave has since issued the “no-holds-barred” type match for this Saturday. This is the type of match that’s right up the Afghani Assault Weapon’s alley, but it is also a way for Dave to be catapulted to the Main Stage of the KSWA.
In addition, “Canada’s National Treasure,” Nasty Nick Crane is set to take on Ric Rumsky in one-on-one action. Rumsky is looking to rebound after last month’s Joe Abby Memorial Tournament tag team loss with “Ice Man” Tony Johnson. Rumsky accidently hit Johnson with a superkick and that has rattled the former Jr. Heavyweight Champion’s cage to the point of being sidelined for Unsanctioned. Then there’s the fact that Johnson is added to a growing list of Rumsky’s former tag team partners who have dropped off of the KSWA playing field. Nasty Nick, meanwhile, continues his personal quest for dominance in the KSWA.
KSWA “Unsanctioned” is this Saturday, April 28 at the Home of Professional Wrestling in Pittsburgh the KSWA Arena, on 51st Street, just off of Butler Street in the Lawrenceville neighborhood within the city of Pittsburgh. Bell time is 7:30 p.m., tickets are $10 for adults, $8 for kids. Card is subject to change.