by Trapper Tom, Ring Announcer
May 8, 2012
This Saturday, May 12, the Keystone State Wrestling Alliance returns to Sharpsburg for the annual Guyasuta Youth Football and Cheerleading Association Fundraiser. And this year, KSWA Megastar Shane Starr will get his chance to reclaim the Jr. Heavyweight Championship at Linden Hall.
Starr lost the KSWA’s newest title just last Saturday when it appeared that the Legion of the Apocalypse’s Jonny Axx and Mayor Mystery pulled a fast one before the Immaculate Conception School faithful. Axx bolted out of Bloomfield with the belt after clobbering Starr with Mayor Mystery’s walking stick. Referee Justin Smith had taken a slight nick himself and missed the infraction, and only saw the aftermath.
KSWA Owner Bobby O, who was not in attendance Saturday night, saw footage of the match and decided that Shane Starr would get an immediate Main Event rematch, which interestingly enough takes place in his own hometown. Mayor Mystery filed an appeal with the corporate offices, claiming that Axx hasn’t had enough time to let the win sink in; however, Bobby O was unsympathetic.
The KSWA Tag Team Championship will be on the line Saturday when Party Gras defends their championship against “Nasty Nick” Crane and the KSWA’s newest addition, Sniper. Lord Zoltan has had a long and storied career against Nasty Nick, but “Canada’s National Treasure” wanted to gain an advantage and did my enlisting the aid of the South African dissident Sniper. This will be Sniper’s debut in the KSWA and the militant cannot be more pleased. It’s his belief that Sniper and Crane will quickly become the KSWA’s newest tag team champions. Sniper is rough and has plenty of experience inside the squared circle. It’s too early to tell if they will have any luck unseating the Party from Gras.
The KSWA World Champion, “Dr. Devastation” Lou Martin jumps from the frying pan into the fire Saturday. Last week he faced the colossus challenge of Jack Massacre, now Martin will defend against the Megastar he beat in controversial fashion for the gold, Mitch Napier. Napier recently defeated Bobby Badfingers in a hard-fought match. Martin, with the help of VIP co-hort Shawn Blanchard, got away from Massacre. Blanchard clipped Massacre with a baseball bat, allowing the 7-foot tall challenger to get away with a DQ victory. Martin has little time to rest against the KSWA’s most technical athlete. Plus, Napier would like the regain the KSWA strap, which he held for approximately 30 seconds last December.
The Golden Triangle Championship is on the line as the Blood Beast defends against “Rock n’ Roll” Dave Diamond. Diamond recently won a “Headbanger’s Brawl” Hardcore match against Legion of the Apocalypse anchor Ali Kaida and now he’ll try to rest the Golden Triangle Championship from the Blood Beast. Beast won the belt recently from Jay Flash. In his first official defense he will take on Diamond Dave, who has shown an affinity for battling the biggest of the big in the KSWA. But in this case, the Blood Beast might even be stronger than Ali Kaida. The Rock n’ Roll star is on a roll but it would still be an upset to dethrone Blood Beast so soon after achieving a goal through Jay Flash.
Massacre gets an opportunity to get some revenge from Shawn Blanchard when the two meet up in one-on-one competition. Blanchard will not be able to use Lou Martin’s wooden baseball bat in this matchup. VIP Advisor Frank Durso might have something to say as he seems to have a knack for getting under Massacre’s skin.
Kris Kash, who recently took both members of the VIP’s to the preverbal woodshed, takes on Bobby Badfingers in single’s competition. These two Megastars have not meet recently, if at all in one-on-one competition. Kash has the momentum of 10 Megastars and Badfingers is just “Too Friggin Good.” If you don’t believe it, you can just ask him. This is a showcase of Kash’s speed and resilience and Badfinger’s power and experience. Mayor Mystery assuredly will have his masked nose in the middle of the action.
“The King” Del Douglas gets his hands on “The Drunken Luchadore” Joey Quervo one more time this Saturday. The two KSWA veterans have gone at it many times over the 12 years of KSWA’s existence, but Douglas says this time will be different. He says that Sharpsburg is a lot like Quervo’s hometown of Tijuana, Mexico and that makes him angry. Look for the surprising Quervo to give “The King” a run for his money.
The KSWA returns to Sharpsburg Recreation Center (Linden Gymnasium), 205 N. Canal Street & 11th Street in Sharpsburg, this Saturday. Bell time is 7:00 p.m. All tickets are $10 for this fundraiser. Card is subject to change.